Balancing Act

It seems lately we have had to deal with the reality of death. It is never fun to face the reality that we are mortal but it seems to happen to the best (and worst) of us.

Our particular ordeal began in May when we learned that one of our Greyhounds had a very aggressive form of bone cancer. This would later prove to be a very expensive and heartbreaking adventure. Never before had Tracey and I felt so helpless.

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The vets and specialists explained what our options were and we realized that we were looking at measuring our poor girl’s remaining time in weeks or days as opposed to months or years.

As anyone who has been in this situation surely knows, this is a gut wrenching and painful reality to confront. The vet knew and now we knew that we were certainly going to lose her to the cancer. It was just a question of when.

Upon coming home from one of the many early visits to the vet it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold back the wave of emotion.

Thoughts that ran through our mind ranged from thinking about how great it had been to share five really good years with her to how it seemed so unfair.

Cosmo was young. She was only seven years old and Greyhounds have a typical life expectancy of 12 years. It was devastating to think of her succumbing at only 7.

While difficult, we knew that we had to be strong for Cosmo’s benefit. It was here that we learned the true meaning of some of life’s greatest lessons.

Each day is a gift! Let me repeat that because it is soooo important. Each day is a gift. The idea of fairness has absolutely no meaning when it comes to parting with a loved one. We now had to appreciate every day we had with our little girl as we never really knew how much longer we had together. She had good days and bad days but every day we were able to spend with her was a special gift.

Take it one day at a time. Okay, so we had always hear this phrase but it really started to mean something now. Dealing with Cosmo meant that every day was different. After going through the necessary amputation, Cosmo seemed to be recovering well and was actually bounding up and down the stairs. Then there was one day when she lost her footing on the staircase and took a bad fall. She was weak and we believe that she fell because the cancer was making her tired and weak. We took her back to the vet and while neither Tracey or I talked about it, we both suspected we might have to say good bye to Cosmo that day.

As it turned out, Cosmo was a pretty hearty soul and while her cancer was spreading she was able to come back home with us that night with some additional meds to help manage her symptoms. A few days later Cosmo was again up to taking our mile long walks although she would never quite get up the stairs on her own again.

This little adventure taught us that we truly had to take it one day at a time. Her overall condition on any given day really had no impact on the next. Though I should mention, that even on her weakest days, she loved the attention she was getting and she always seemed up for a new tasty treat.

You never know how you might impact others. We all have an amazing power to impact others. Only we determine whether that impact is positive or negative.

Over the next three months following her amputation we would walk Cosmo along a stretch of beach in nearby West Haven. Cosmo was always very social and loved being admired by strangers.

As we had been making this walk a part of our daily ritual we had come to be recognized by many others down at the beach. We were somewhat hard to miss, what with our three legged dog hopping along for about a mile. In particular, Cosmo was a hit with young children.

Many well wishers would stop to ask us what had happened to Cosmo and most were very supportive. There was one particular mother and daughter that we had talked with a few times. On one of our random encounters, the woman had taken a picture of Cosmo and seemed impressed that she had the fortitude to enjoy her walks even though she had only three legs and was a bit short of breath.

At the time we thought little of the photo op as Cosmo had this affect on quite a few people. She was a very pretty girl and there are many pictures of Cosmo floating about. Sadly we never thought to ask for a copy of any of the candid photos.

On our last walk with Cosmo, our paths had crossed again and the young woman explained that she had gone to visit her family back in Peru. As it turns out the woman had a mom who was also ill and she had given the photo of Cosmo to her for the inspirational message. She went on to explain that she was so moved by Cosmo’s courage and zest for life that she had hoped it would help keep her mom’s spirits up while she battled her illness. In turn her mom then shared the photo of Cosmo with her friends in Peru.

With nothing more than a walk and a short friendly conversation, Cosmo now had something of a fan base rooting for her in a distant land all based on a picture.

Needless to say Tracey and I were so moved. We always knew Cosmo was special to us but it was clear that Cosmo was special to almost everyone who she came in contact with.

We all have this power to inspire others. This was simply one of few times I really took stock of this true power. I can be pretty thick at times but even I understood how meaningful this was.

On October 8th we lost our girl. It was the middle of the night and she simply could not stay on her feet. With our arms around her, she fell to the damp, thick grass. With tears in our eyes, we stood over her saying our final good byes.

What was strange is this: Days after she had passed away we can still see an impression in the lawn where she last laid. The life lesson I take away is this:

A loved one, human or pet; stays with us forever. As I said earlier in this story, every day is a gift. It would be impossible to think of our time together as fair or unfair. Every day in her company was one of life’s precious moments and Cosmo made sure we had many of those.

The next lesson is that we should take one day at a time. Thinking about what if’s is great for planning but of little use in the here and now.

Lesson number 3 is that we always have an impact on others. Even if we don’t ever know what that impact is. We simply have a choice in how we impact another. We decide if it is a good impact or not.

Lastly, those that are close and important to us are always close. Even if they physically are not.

With that, I thank you for reading through this long winded story.

Be well!