Balancing Act

Years ago when I first started as a Trust Officer at U.S. Trust, I learned a very valuable lesson in negotiations.

I learned to LEAP.

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The beautiful thing about learning to LEAP is that you can apply this method to almost any situation where you are working with people.

It works as well in sales as it does customer service. It works with employees and it works with management. It is, to my way of thinking, the best overall system for dealing with people. LEAP even works when dealing with particularly difficult people. For me, LEAP is the Swiss Army Knife for almost all situations.

LEAP is an acronym for Listen, Empathize, Ask and Propose. Simple, huh?

LISTEN
The first rule of working with people is to listen. People want to be heard. We all do. Think about the last time you felt that someone was not listening to you. It probably left you a little angry and insulted.

So the first thing to do when working with others is listen. Hear what they are saying. If you put even a little effort into the listening part, you will be surprised at what you discover. You will not only hear the words that are coming out of their mouths but you will start picking up on those subtle vibes that help you truly understand what the other person is trying to say. The goal of listening is to learn. Learn about your client’s needs or what your employee is really asking you for. Listen to what your boss or your spouse really is talking about. Often you will find that there are hidden clues when you really take time to listen.

If you have to, be prepared to ask some good questions to get the dialogue started but remember we are listening. And we are listening to the other person, not ourselves.

EMPATHIZE
Now we got the message. We have heard the person and we understand the issues that are important to them. We are now in the second phase of LEAP. We empathize.

Notice, I did not say we solve their problems or agreed with their point of view. Maybe we do agree but that is so not the point here. The point of empathy is place ourselves emotionally where the other person is standing. This is an opportunity to demonstrate to the other person that we understand where they are coming from. In a very true sense this is the magic moment where we bond.

We are now informed because we listened. With information, we formed a genuine bond with the other person through our ability to empathize. The next step is where we gain more information about what the other person needs or wants.

ASK
This is where we ask important questions. This is the chance to clarify anything that is ambiguous. Asking questions also allows us to confirm our understanding. The goal of asking more questions help us and them in the next phase.

PROPOSE
Only after we have listened can we be in a position to understand the other side’s desires. Only after we empathize are we able to develop a mutual trust and respect for each other. Only after we have asked questions are we clear that we understand what the person wants.

Only after listening, empathizing and asking are we in a position to propose any meaningful suggestion, option or solution. To try to propose earlier in the dialogue would be a mistake. A proposal offered too early most likely will not be accepted. The proposal will not meet their needs or yours.

Once you have successfully navigated the three other steps, you are now in a position to offer a meaningful proposal that is more likely to be considered and accepted. In part this is because the other person will appreciate the thought and effort that has gone into the proposal offered. In no small part, the proposal will be accepted because you are now equipped to provide a meaningful solution that is tailored to the specific needs of your counterpart.

The concept of LEAP has served me well in many different circumstances. From building a client relationship, to negotiating with employees, LEAP has provided a process to succeed with others.
Perhaps the best part of LEAP is that it is a very fair and humane way to deal with others.

As always, I hope this helps you LEAP to success. If you have any questions or if we can be of any assistance, please feel free to contact me at (203) 404-3974 or send me an email at jrosen@rospro.com

Wishing you great success!

Jason